Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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