you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
