College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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