stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
