I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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