You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
