their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
