hotel room ftw
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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