We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
