I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
