stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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