I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
