do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
