I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We need to get me chipped asap
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
