I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
