just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I love having hate sex.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Randomize
