i don't like sucking hair
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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