i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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