i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
we should paint friendship bongs
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