my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
