On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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