Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
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