me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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