I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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