i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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