How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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