yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
