is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
