I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
