sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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