I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
