Quick, to the slutcave!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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