i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize