he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
