Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
