why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
