I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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