We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
