so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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