Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
