omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Come see our sink grown plant.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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