I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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