Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
