Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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