What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Drunk is not a location!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
