is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
