The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
