did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can you repeat that, but with context?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
