Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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