I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize