no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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