Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
