One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
