this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize