Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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