god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
