it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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