you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
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